Sleep Aid Found To Be Useful For Extinguishing Forest Fires

Friday, 5 June 2009 18:44 by The Lunatic

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

CONTACT:
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Sleep Aid Found To Be Useful For Extinguishing Forest Fires

Washington D.C., June 5 2009 – In addition to being the healthiest and most effective natural sleep aid on the market, local distribution company EnergyByAloe has shown positive data that AloeRest is very effective at extinguishing forest fires. “The biggest problem we’ve found” says EnergyByAloe owner David Workman “is keeping enough AloeRest in stock.”

Indeed, during the two day test trial in which numerous forest fires were started in the Washington DC area, one almost got out of control because of a shortage of AloeRest.

“It was a close one,” says Workman, “we almost had to More...

Categories:   Social Issues
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Does the Post Office ever want to make you go Postal?

Monday, 1 June 2009 21:48 by The Lunatic

I’ve been mailing out a lot of packages lately, and the staff at my local post office just seem to drive me crazy.  Here’s a typical interaction:

“How would you like this to be mailed, sir?”

“Whatever is cheapest – there’s no hurry.”

“Well, we can send it Parcel Post for $4.90 which will get it there in 3 to five business days, priority mail for $10.35 which is two to three days, or $25.15 for overnight express mail.”

“Whatever is cheapest – there’s no hurry. Parcel Post is fine.”

“Ok, would you like to add delivery confirmation or insurance?”

“Does that make it any cheaper?” I asked, hoping she’d get the hint.

“No sir, it does not.  Delivery confirmation is only More...

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