It’s Not Over Till The Fat Lady Eats All The Halloween Candy

Monday, 1 November 2010 02:25 by The Lunatic

My family loves Halloween. It’s our favorite holiday of the year – we get to decorate the house, wear costumes, go to parties ... and eat candy.

Lots and lots and lots and lots of candy.

In a society of bulging waistlines and bad eating habits in general, I really wish we could go just a little easier on the candy at Halloween.

I mean, what’s wrong with giving out only one small morsel to each trick-or-treater that comes by, instead of big handfuls?  What’s wrong with running out at a reasonable hour and saying “sorry, we don’t have any more” instead of buying so much that you’re stuck with pounds of leftovers?  What’s wrong with giving out something healthy, instead of candy, or a “trick” like some families used to do when I was a kid? (the idea used to be that you’d give out a trick … OR a treat.)

Sure, it’s just one day a year – but we have more candy sitting on our counter than I’d normally let my kids eat in an entire year.  Seriously. Maybe two years.

I tried to be reasonable.  I tried to get a small amount of candy, and supplement our offerings with little bags of pretzels. But my own family rebelled.  They turned on me. They ridiculed me for wanting to give out pretzels. They went out and bought MORE candy just to make sure we’d contribute to the all American calorie count.

Admittedly, we have a little bit of a pent up Halloween frustration. For three of the past four years, we’ve lived overseas – in Ecuador and Switzerland, countries that don’t take Halloween quite so seriously.  Ecuador was fun, they love to have any excuse for a party. Switzerland was kind of interesting – the kids actually got packets of instant “quick soup” from one house that wasn’t quite prepared for guests. They rummaged around the kitchen, and that’s all they could find!

And the one year in between that we DID live in the US, we were in a big apartment building without any other kids – so we didn’t have an outside yard to decorate, and we didn’t get any trick-or-treaters inside the building.

So our last “real” Halloween was five years ago – and at the time, the kids were young enough that we could easily hide all their candy and just give them one piece a day for a few weeks, then stop.  When they were little, we would routinely hand out leftovers to all the kids on Halloween the NEXT year! Ok, so maybe it was a little stale ...

But now, my kids are ten and eleven years old, and they are too smart for that. They came back last night with huge pillowcases stuffed with sugary treats, plus we have all the leftovers that we ended up with because – like everyone else in our neighborhood – we bought too much. I have to sit down with them today, and look like the bad guy while I explain that they can NOT have more than one or two pieces a day; and since they have absolutely no self control, I will need to lock up their stash and dole it out to them each afternoon.

As I read more and more news stories about childhood obesity, I can’t help but wonder how much of it is due to Halloween (and all the other out of control holidays).  It’s fun, but just another example of America’s overindulgence.

Comments (4) -

November 1. 2010 07:38

Mom used to give us one piece of candy, put the rest in a jar that was kept on a VERY high shelf in Grandma's kitchen (I think it was next to the jar where Grandma kept her dried mushrooms, but I could be wrong) and that would be the candy for the entire year.  It is a puzzlement. I bought a small bag this year because I didn't expect many trick-or-treaters. I got none. Count them, NONE.  So I'm forced to eat the mini- Reece's cups. Forced to, I tell you.

Oh, and the trick part wasn't what was given out. The idea was that if you didn't get a treat, you would trick the house. That usually meant something involving soap, toilet paper or some other item from the privy. I never much went for that sort of thing, but most boys my age really loved the opportunity to dole out a small amount of mayhem.


November 1. 2010 07:51

My daughter (who will be 3 in Feb.) has caught on to the significance of candy this year. I've stuck it all on an unreachably high shelf, but I'm sure she'll keep asking for it. I figure I'll give her one or two pieces a day. One creative person gave out temporary tatoos, which was a cool idea.

The best way I've heard of dealing with the candy issue is treating it like money. A friend of mine allows his two daughters to "buy" books with their candy. They evidently are happy to give it all to him in exchange for several books. If your kid isn't so inclined, you could offer something else for sale (whatever it is kids are into these days that isn't worse than candy). My daughter is probably too young to understand the exchange concept, but I think I'll try it anyway. Maybe for a stuffed animal or some PBS educational kids' TV.

Sharon Hoff

November 1. 2010 08:50

I couldn't agree with you more.  This has become a ridiculous holiday and all about how much candy you can grab.  I now have six POUNDS of candy in my house and all because people overbought and started giving my kids GOBS full because THEY didn't want it to remain in their homes.  GREAT.  Now we have it all at our home.   I am secretly taking some to work to the college students who want the candy, but do not trick or treat any more.   They are binge drinking, but not binge eating candy!

Kim Anderson

January 22. 2011 05:27

The gluttonous attitude that has taken over Halloween (at least in America) IS rather appalling.  

Legal Beagle

Add comment